It was raining on the highway when the car in front braked hard. Nobody was badly hurt, and by evening the whole family was home. Six weeks later, nine-year-old Ben still fights every time he has to get into the back seat. He wakes from nightmares most nights, jumps at the sound of brakes, and when his mother asks about the accident he says "I don't want to talk about it" and leaves the room. His four-year-old sister, Lily, plays the same game every afternoon: two toy cars crash, again and again. Their parents wonder: is this normal, should we make him talk about it, will it pass? Most children who live through a frightening event recover with the support of the people around them, but some develop post-traumatic stress, which does not simply fade and responds well to the right treatment. This guide explains how to tell the two apart, what helps in the first weeks, and what the evidence says works.
At a glance
- Frightening events are common. In the E-Risk study, which has followed more than 2,000 young people in England and Wales since birth, 31% had been exposed to a traumatic event by age 18, and 7.8% had developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
- Most children recover. A 2014 meta-analysis of 43 groups of children and teenagers (3,563 in total) found that about 1 in 6 of those exposed to trauma developed PTSD. The risk was highest after trauma caused by another person, such as violence or abuse, and in girls.
- Many never get help. In the same E-Risk study, only about 1 in 5 young people with PTSD had received help from a mental health professional.
- Trauma-focused therapy comes first. The UK's National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) recommends individual trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for children and teenagers with PTSD, and advises against medication to prevent or treat PTSD in anyone under 18.
- Early "debriefing" is not recommended. NICE advises against sessions in which people are asked to go over a traumatic event in detail soon after it happens; the evidence showed no benefit for children or adults, and some suggestion of harm.
What it is, and what it isn't
A traumatic event is one in which a child faces death, serious injury or sexual violence, or the threat of them. They might experience it themselves, witness it happening to someone else, or learn that it happened violently or by accident to someone close. NICE lists examples such as serious accidents, assault, abuse (including domestic abuse), serious health problems, and war and conflict; NIMH adds natural disasters.
Strong reactions afterward are expected. The US National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) lists common ones at any age: stomachaches and headaches, nightmares and trouble sleeping, difficulty concentrating, losing interest in usual activities, and guilt about not having prevented what happened. Its message for families is reassuring: "Many of these reactions are normal and will lessen with time."
Post-traumatic stress disorder is the name clinicians use when reactions do not ease, but last more than a month and get in the way of daily life. NICE describes several groups of symptoms:
- Re-experiencing: unwanted memories, nightmares, flashbacks in which the event seems to be happening again, and intense distress at reminders.
- Avoidance: steering clear of places, people, conversations or thoughts that bring the event back.
- Changes in mood and thinking: feeling numb, guilty, ashamed or worthless, blaming themselves, losing trust in people.
- Being constantly on alert: irritability and anger, jumping at sudden noises, watching for danger, poor sleep and concentration.
In the first month, a strong reaction is sometimes called acute stress disorder. When trauma is prolonged or repeated and hard to escape, such as ongoing domestic violence or repeated abuse, some young people develop what is called complex PTSD: the symptoms of PTSD together with deep, lasting difficulties managing emotions, relationships and how they see themselves.
How it can look at different ages
- Young children (under 6): NIMH notes that young children may cling to their caregivers, cry, have tantrums, go back to bed-wetting or thumb-sucking, develop new fears of the dark, monsters or being alone, and bring parts of the event into their imaginary play. NICE also lists "repetitive trauma-related play" among the signs to watch for. Play like Lily's matters at this age, because young children often cannot yet put fear into words.
- School-age children (6 to 12): stomachaches and headaches, nightmares, problems at school, trouble concentrating, avoiding reminders, anger or disruptive behavior, guilt ("It was my fault"), and sometimes thoughts of revenge.
- Teenagers (13 to 17): withdrawing from family and friends, avoiding reminders, anger and resentment, falling behind at school, using alcohol, drugs or tobacco, or becoming reckless. PTSD in teenagers rarely comes alone: in the E-Risk study, more than half of the young people with PTSD had also had an episode of depression, and nearly half had self-harmed. This is one more reason a professional assessment matters.
Why it happens
Several factors make PTSD more likely after a frightening event.
- The kind of event. Trauma caused deliberately by another person carries a higher risk than accidents or natural events. In the 2014 meta-analysis, rates ranged from about 8% among boys after events such as accidents to about 33% among girls after interpersonal trauma such as assault or abuse.
- Repeated trauma. NICE asks clinicians to take into account childhood maltreatment and multiple traumatic experiences, which can make difficulties more likely and longer-lasting.
- Ongoing danger or upheaval. A child cannot recover while the danger continues, and loss or disruption after the event leaves less room to heal.
- How the memory is handled. Avoiding every reminder is understandable, but over time it can keep the fear alive, which is why trauma-focused treatment helps children gradually face it.
- Support afterward. NIMH notes that how adults respond to trauma can strongly influence how children react.
That is not about blame. Frightening things happen in loving, careful families, and a child's reaction is not a verdict on anyone's parenting. It means you are one of the most powerful sources of recovery your child has. Parents often went through the same event, and NICE notes that more than one family member may develop PTSD, so your own reactions deserve care too.
How it is assessed
When to ask. NICE advises parents to see their doctor if symptoms persist beyond one month, and NIMH suggests contacting a health care provider sooner if flashbacks, being easily startled, emotional numbness or deep sadness last more than a few weeks. Start with your pediatrician or family doctor, who can refer your child to a child mental health service.
What happens. A child mental health professional will talk with your child and with you, often partly separately. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) stresses gathering information from both parents and children, because each sees a different part of the picture. The clinician will ask what happened, what has changed since, about sleep, school, mood and friendships, and, calmly and directly, about self-harm. Questionnaires designed for children's trauma reactions are often used. AACAP also highlights checking for conditions that often come with PTSD, such as depression.
Safety first. If the trauma is ongoing, for example abuse or violence at home, the first step is making the child safe.
What to bring. A short written timeline: what happened and when, what changed afterward, what makes things better or worse, and any earlier difficulties.
Only a professional can assess. Only a qualified professional can tell whether a child has PTSD; recognizing your child in this article is a reason to ask for help, not a conclusion.
Treatment: what the evidence supports
The first month: watch and support. NICE notes that there can be a lot of natural recovery in the early weeks. For milder symptoms in the first month, it recommends "active monitoring": a professional stays in touch and follows up within a month. If symptoms are already marked, NICE suggests either active monitoring or individual trauma-focused CBT. After an event that affects many children at once, such as a disaster, NICE suggests group trauma-focused CBT for 7- to 17-year-olds.
Why not talk it all through straight away? People who had lived through a disaster or an accident were once often offered a single "debriefing" session soon afterward, going over the event in detail. NICE now advises against it: the evidence showed no benefit for children or adults, and some suggestion of harm. In a 2006 British trial with 158 children aged 7 to 18 who had been in road accidents, a debriefing-style session added nothing: children improved considerably with or without it.
After a month: trauma-focused CBT. For children and teenagers aged 7 to 17 whose symptoms last beyond three months, NICE recommends individual trauma-focused CBT; it can also be considered from one month after the event, and for children aged 5 and 6. NICE describes it as typically 6 to 12 sessions, adapted to the child's age, with parents involved as appropriate. Therapy usually:
- explains what trauma does to body and mind, so the child sees that their reactions make sense;
- teaches ways to calm the body and handle flashbacks;
- helps the child, step by step, tell the story of what happened and work through the memory;
- addresses guilt, shame, loss and anger, and beliefs such as "It was my fault";
- helps the child return to what they have been avoiding, and plans for hard dates such as anniversaries.
Parents are part of the treatment. In a landmark 2004 US trial, 229 children aged 8 to 14 who had been abused, most of whom had also lived through other traumatic events, were randomly assigned with their caregivers to trauma-focused CBT or a supportive, child-centered therapy. Children in trauma-focused CBT improved more in PTSD symptoms, depression, behavior problems and shame. Their parents improved more too: in their own distress, in how they supported their child, and in their parenting.
How strong is the evidence? A 2020 network meta-analysis of 32 trials with 2,260 young people found individual trauma-focused CBT the most effective; supportive counseling, simply talking things over, did not appear to work for PTSD.
What about EMDR? In eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), the child brings the memory to mind while following side-to-side eye movements or taps. The 2020 analysis found that EMDR helps children, but to a lesser extent than trauma-focused CBT. NICE therefore suggests considering it for 7- to 17-year-olds only if they do not respond to, or cannot engage with, trauma-focused CBT.
Very young children. NICE's recommendations start at age 5, and most of the evidence comes from children over 7. For younger children, therapists usually work with parent and child together; approaches such as child-parent psychotherapy look promising, but the evidence is still very limited.
Medication. NICE advises against medication to prevent or treat PTSD in under-18s, because the little evidence there is showed no significant benefit. If a child also has another condition, such as severe depression, a child psychiatrist will consider that separately, together with the family.
What helps at home
- Make safety visible. Once the danger has passed, children need to know it is over and the adults are in charge. Keep routines going: meals together, bedtime stories, school. "It's over. We are safe now, and we are taking care of everything."
- Let them tell it in their own way and time. NIMH advises letting children talk, write or draw about what happened, but not making them discuss it before they are ready. When they do bring it up, stop what you are doing and listen. "You can tell me anything about that day, whenever you want. And if you don't want to, that's okay too."
- Answer honestly and simply, without promises you can't keep. Correct misunderstandings, especially self-blame: "It was not your fault. Nothing you did made it happen." NIMH warns against promises such as "You will be OK tomorrow."
- Meet setbacks with patience. Bed-wetting, clinging, tantrums and nightmares are reactions, not bad behavior. Don't scold, and don't expect your child to be brave or tough. NIMH suggests that a child who is struggling to sleep can sleep in your room for a short time or with a light on.
- Turn down the volume. Limit repeated news coverage and adult talk about the event within earshot. Offer small choices, such as what to wear, to give back a sense of control.
- Look after yourself. NIMH notes that caregivers who support their own coping can provide better care. If you went through the event too and are struggling, ask for help for yourself; NICE asks professionals to consider support for any family member who may have PTSD.
Myths and facts
"Talking it all through right away prevents trauma." Being there to listen helps; pushing a child to recount the event in detail soon afterward does not. NICE advises against psychological debriefing for children and adults alike.
"Young children are too little to be affected." They are affected; they show it differently, through clinging, regression, new fears and play that repeats the event. Help exists for them too, usually with the parent closely involved.
"Going back over the trauma in therapy will make it worse." In trauma-focused CBT the memory is approached gradually, with a trained therapist, after the child has learned skills to manage distress. It is the most effective treatment for PTSD in young people; avoidance tends to keep the fear alive.
When to get help right away
Call your local emergency number or go to the nearest emergency department if your child:
- talks about wanting to die or to kill themselves, or is harming themselves;
- seems cut off from reality, does not seem to know where they are, or cannot be reached;
- is so agitated or aggressive that they or others could be hurt;
- is using alcohol or drugs heavily.
If you think your child is being abused or is not safe at home or anywhere else, contact the police or your local child protection services. Do not leave a child at risk alone, and remove anything they could use to harm themselves.
In one sentence
Most children recover from frightening events with safety, routine and calm support, but when reactions last more than a month, trauma-focused CBT with parents involved is the treatment with the strongest evidence, while early "debriefing" and medication are not recommended.
Sources
- National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE), "Post-traumatic stress disorder", NG116, 2018
- American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), "Practice parameter for the assessment and treatment of children and adolescents with posttraumatic stress disorder", Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 2010
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), "Helping Children and Adolescents Cope With Traumatic Events"
- Alisic E. et al., "Rates of post-traumatic stress disorder in trauma-exposed children and adolescents: meta-analysis", British Journal of Psychiatry, 2014
- Lewis S.J. et al., "The epidemiology of trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder in a representative cohort of young people in England and Wales", Lancet Psychiatry, 2019
- Mavranezouli I. et al., "Research Review: Psychological and psychosocial treatments for children and young people with post-traumatic stress disorder: a network meta-analysis", Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 2020
- Cohen J.A. et al., "A multisite, randomized controlled trial for children with sexual abuse-related PTSD symptoms", Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 2004
- Stallard P. et al., "A randomised controlled trial to determine the effectiveness of an early psychological intervention with children involved in road traffic accidents", Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 2006