ParentAIIf your one-year-old has started fighting bedtime, standing up in the cot the moment you leave, calling out at 2 a.m., or waking for the day at 5, you are seeing something very common in the second year. A toddler who slept reasonably well at ten months can become a determined bedtime protester at fourteen, and it is rarely because anything has gone wrong. This age brings big changes in mobility, feelings and will, and sleep is often where they show up first.
Why this happens at this age
Between 12 and 24 months, several things arrive at once. Separation feelings peak: your toddler now understands that you still exist when you leave the room, and would very much like you to come back. Bedtime is the longest separation of the day, so it is where protest concentrates.
New skills get practised in the cot. A child who has just learned to pull up, stand, cruise or walk will do it at 7 p.m. in the dark, because the urge to rehearse a new movement does not switch off at bedtime. The same goes for new words: a toddler who can say "Mama" or "up" now has a way to call you, and will use it.
The nap schedule shifts. Most children move from two naps to one somewhere between 12 and 18 months, and the transition is messy. For a few weeks, two naps are too many and one is not enough, which produces overtiredness by evening and, paradoxically, a child who is too wired to settle.
Teething and minor illnesses are frequent in this year, and a few disrupted nights can set a new pattern: the extra cuddles that were needed while a molar came through are still expected once it is in. Finally, your toddler is developing a will of their own. Saying no, and testing what happens when they do, is healthy development. Bedtime is simply one of the first places they try it.
What helps
Keep a 20–30 minute wind-down with a clear last step. The routine itself is probably already in place; what matters now is that it is the same every night and that it ends in a way your toddler can predict. For example: bath, pyjamas, two books on your lap, lights low, a song, then "Into your cot now. Sleep time. I love you, goodnight." The last step should be the same words and the same action each time, so that your toddler learns where the routine ends rather than negotiating for one more book.
Set a bedtime that fits how much sleep a one-year-old needs. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends 11 to 14 hours of sleep in 24 hours for children aged 1 to 2, including naps. If your toddler naps for two hours and wakes at 6.30, a bedtime of around 7 to 7.30 lands in that range. A bedtime much later than that usually means an overtired toddler who fights harder, not one who is more ready. Try shifting bedtime earlier by 15 minutes for a few nights and see whether the protest shrinks.
Protect the nap and manage the transition gently. Keep naps at roughly the same time each day and in the same place where you can. When the morning nap starts to be refused, or the afternoon nap is pushed so late that bedtime suffers, move towards one nap gradually: push the morning nap later by 15 to 30 minutes every few days until it lands around midday, and bring bedtime earlier by 30 minutes during the changeover. On days when the single nap falls apart, an earlier bedtime is your safety net.
Respond to call-outs calmly and boringly. When your toddler stands and shouts after you have left, go in briefly, lie them down, and say the same short phrase you used at the end of the routine: "It's sleep time. I love you. Goodnight." Then leave. Keep the lights off, your voice flat and the visit under a minute. The message your toddler needs is that you are still there and that nothing interesting happens at night. If your toddler has started pulling up to stand, check the cot mattress is on its lowest setting; a cot is still the safest place for them until they are climbing out.
Introduce a comfort object. From 12 months, a small soft toy or a piece of muslin can become a stand-in for you at night. Include it in the routine every evening ("Here's Bunny, he's going to sleep too"), keep it in the cot rather than around the house, and have a spare. Once your child associates it with sleep, it helps both at bedtime and with brief night wakings.
For early rising, darken the room and hold the wake time. A toddler waking at 5 a.m. is often responding to light, noise or a bedtime that was too early or too late. Blackout blinds and a steady wake time, for instance 6.30 every day, help the body clock settle. If your child wakes earlier, treat it like the night: brief, boring, back to the cot. Do not bring the day forward by starting breakfast at 5.15, or 5.15 becomes the day.
Change sleep associations gradually. If your toddler can only fall asleep while being rocked, fed or held, and the same is needed at every night waking, you can shift this without a sudden change. Move the feed or the rocking earlier in the routine so it is no longer the last step. Then put your toddler down awake and sit in a chair by the cot, moving it a little further from the cot every few nights until you are outside the door. Expect protest on the first two or three nights, and be consistent: a method you can keep up every night is better than a faster one you abandon on night four.
What to avoid
Bringing your toddler into your bed some nights but not others. Occasional co-sleeping is a family choice, but if it happens only after enough protest, your toddler learns that protest works. Decide what you want the night to look like and keep it the same.
Long negotiations at the cot. Extra stories, another drink, a debate about the door: each one teaches a one-year-old that bedtime is open to discussion. Warmth is fine; conversation is a reward.
Dropping the nap too early. A one-year-old who refuses a nap for a few days is usually not done with naps. Most children keep a daytime nap until they are three or older. Keep offering quiet time in the cot at the usual hour even when they do not sleep.
Screens in the hour before bed. Bright, fast-moving content is stimulating and the light delays sleepiness. Keep the last hour for books, bath and low light.
Letting bedtime drift later. A toddler who is up until 9 does not sleep in to compensate; they wake at the same time, more tired, and fight bedtime harder the next evening.
When to seek help
Talk to your paediatrician, health visitor or family doctor if:
- your toddler snores loudly most nights, breathes through their mouth in sleep, or you notice pauses or gasps in their breathing;
- they are extremely difficult to wake, or unusually sleepy and hard to rouse during the day;
- sleep problems come with poor weight gain, a drop in appetite, or a clear change in daytime behaviour or development;
- night-time screaming episodes where your child seems awake but not responsive are happening very frequently, or you are unsure whether they are night terrors;
- your own exhaustion is affecting your mood, your safety when driving, or your ability to cope during the day. That deserves help in its own right.
Persistent sleep difficulties at this age usually respond well to consistent routines, but a doctor can check for anything physical that a routine cannot fix.
Sources
- American Academy of Sleep Medicine, "Recommended Amount of Sleep for Pediatric Populations: A Consensus Statement" (Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 2016)
- American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org, "Healthy Sleep Habits: How Many Hours Does Your Child Need?"
- NHS (UK), "Sleep problems in young children"